Thursday, December 27, 2007

#40 BRUCE SHOEBOTTOM


Despite only playing 35 regular season games for the Bruins, the big defenseman Shoebottom became a fan favorite as a brawler, getting into at least 22 fights in that limited span. He was especially feisty in the playoffs, notching 77 penalty minutes in only 14 career playoff games. Bruins fans would hurl shoes onto the Garden ice whenever "Shoe" dropped the gloves. Later, back in the minors, he gained notariety for battling a group of security guards and policemen in one penalty box rampage, headbutting a cop before being subdued with pepper spray.
#1 FRANK BRIMSEK



The first American inducted into the Hall of Fame, the legendary goalie known as "Mr. Zero" backstopped two Bruins teams to the Stanley Cup. For some reason, his number and jersey have not been retired by the team. He posted 40 shutouts and won two Vezina trophies. Hockey Legends notes "Brimsek was a classic standup goalie whose confidence on the ice threw off many a shooter. On breakaways and penalty shots he would often lean back calmly against his net as the foe approached. But he was not a passive figure while guarding his cage-- Brimsek used his custom-made heavy stick to knock the puck off opposition sticks or to take the feet out from under someone who took too many liberties around his goal."
#26 DON AWREY



A defenseman's defenseman, he stayed at home while Bobby Orr roamed the rink. His page at Legends of Hockey notes that he was known for "blocking shots and delivering bone-crushing checks."
#16 DEREK SANDERSON



Key part of two-Cup-winning teams, Rookie of the Year, nutjob. Sanderson was famous for driving a silver Rolls, and wearing fur coats. According to Wikipedia, he was "named by Cosmo as one of the sexiest men in America, he was the subject of the gossip columns, a frequent guest on television talk shows, and regularly photographed in the company of numerous beautiful women. He is famously quoted as having told a reporter who asked about his dining habits that his pre-game meal was a steak and a blonde." He left the Bruins for a big contract with the WHA, making him the highest paid athlete in the world at the time, and neither he nor the Bruins were ever the same, even when he came back the next year.
#11 JOHN WENSINK



An Enforcer, not a goon. Wensink's most legendary moment came when he pummeled a North Stars player, then approached the North Star bench and motioned with his hands, challenging the entire Minnesota team. He didn't have any takers, though. Wikipedia notes that Wensink is "also well known for his large afro that he sported on the ice." He also scored 28 goals in 1978-79, which might well be more goals than any Bruin scores this year.
#10 ALEXEI ZHAMNOV


Once a useful player, Zhamnov got a big contract from the Bruins, who decided to spend the money on him, rather than on several of their own free agents. Since signing his contract in 2005, Zhamnov has scored one goal in 24 games. Both parties have since agreed that it'd be better for everyone if they all pretended that none of this ever happened, and that Zhamnov never come back to Boston or put on the Bruins jersey ever again.

Boston Bruins

#0 JEREMY JACOBS (Owner)





He's not a player, but Jeremy Jacobs holds a special place in the hearts of Boston Bruins fans. It's only fitting that his "jersey" is the first one un-retired, for all he's done for (to?) the franchise.

Friday, December 21, 2007

#40 TRAVIS KNIGHT


Signed to a seven-year, $22 million contract by the Celtics, but was too much of a scrub to last more than one year with the team. Annoyingly went on to win a championship on the Lakers bench. Part of the Celtics long line of OCWSs-- Obligatory Clumsy White Scrubs. He didn't have the funny name or goofy appearance of some of the greatest OCWS in Celtics history though.
#33 STEVE KUBERSKI


Ol' #33 averaged 5.5 ppg in his 9-year career in the 1970s. People still wear his famous #33 Celtics jersey throughout New England, though most have the word "bird" on the back, rather than "Kuberski." Perhaps his nickname was "bird"? Anyway, Kuberski's famous number, 33, has actually been retired by the Celtics, but his actual jersey hasn't, so he still makes this list.
#52 VITALY POTAPENKO


Vitaly
Mykolayovych Potapenko, the big ugly Ukrainian, played for the Celtics from 1999 to 2002. He was traded for Vin Baker in a deal that managed to hurt both teams.

#54 BRAD LOHAUS



A big redhead from Minnesota/University of Iowa. Nicknamed "Big Bird." Played 11 NBA seasons, averaged double figures in points one time.

#27 KEVIN STACOM


A 6'3" guard, Stacom played for the Celtics in the mid-70s. He averaged 5.1 ppg in 6 NBA seasons. Despite the rumors, he is not the inventor of Steak-Umms, America's Favorite Sliced Steak (tm)

#30 SEBASTIAN TELFAIR


Acquired by the Celtics in exchange for the 7th pick in the 2006 draft. Wasn't very good at basketball while in Boston, but achieved fame off the court. A loaded handgun was found in his pillowcase on the Blazers' private jet at Logan Airport. Another time he had a $50,000 chain snatched from him while he was outside P. Diddy's restaurant. Rumor has it that he might have been involved in the shooting of spelling-challenged rapper Fabolous later that night. Fabolous shouldn't worry, when Telfair shoots anything, he usually misses.

#44 BRIAN SCALABRINE


Brian "Veal" Scalabrine is a big red-headed reserve for the current Celtics team. The crowd chants his name if he makes a basket. In a few short months he's gone from being a scrub on a horrible team to a cult favorite on a very good team, without really dong anything differently.
#50 GREG KITE


This first round draft pick won two championship rings with the Celtics. He had three things: size, a mustache and six fouls to give. He averaged 2.5 ppg and 3.8 rpg in his career, but he wasn't as graceful as those numbers might imply.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

#29 PERVIS ELLISON


While with the Celtics, this former #1 overall draft pick was "injured" so often, he was nicknamed "Out of Service Pervis" by Danny Ainge. He missed most of a season when a coffee table fell on his foot.
#40 JOSEPH FORTE


Drafted ahead of Tony Parker and Gilbert Arenas, this first-round draft pick made one shot in his Celtics career, in 12 career field goal attempts. he has more career arrests than Celtics field goals. His wikipedia page notes "His most memorable moment with the Celtics came when he wore a Scooby Doo shirt on the sidelines during the playoffs." Basketball wasn't really his forte, you might say.
#29 HENRY FINKEL



Tall? Check. White? Check. Funny Looking? Yep. Funny name? Check. Finkel had it all-- everything you needed to be a scrub with the Celtics in the 1970s.
#45 ERIC FERNSTEN




He was goofy-looking, mustachioed, white, and awkward. He also won a championship ring.
3.1, 2.1, 1.3: his scoring averages per year with the Celtics.
#30 MARK BLOUNT



Known for making a lot of money, the Blount Instrument was considered my many Celtics fans to be lazy, disinterested and selfish.
#4 ALAA ABDELNABY


Without doubt, Alaa Abdelnaby was one of the greatest Egyptian-born players in Celtics history.
#42 MARK ACRES


When the name Mark Acres is mentioned by Celtics fans, a few words spring to mind: "cult favorite;" "gangly;" "funny looking." Only a Celtic for two years, he was part of a legendary Mavericks draft class that also featured fellow big dorky white guys Bill Wennington and Uwe Blab.
#27 MARVIN "BAD NEWS" BARNES


The former ABA star is best known for being "troubled." He's admitted to snorting cocaine on the Celtics bench during games. Truly the stuff that legends are made of.
#12 SIDNEY WICKS



The former all-star with Portland came to Boston and became the poster boy for the bad and selfish Celtics teams of the late 70's. The Sidney Wicks Era is considered to be one of the lowest points in Celtics history.
#55 ACIE EARL




Acie Boyd Earl was a first round pick of the Celtics in 1993. He averaged 5.5 ppg his first year, then 2.2 points his second and final season with the team. On April 12, 1996 against the team that drafted him - the Celtics - Earl posted a double-double, with 40 points and 12 rebounds. Never forget!
#42 VIN BAKER




Struggling with alcohol addiction, overweight and overpaid, Vin will long be remembered by Celtics fans of the early 2000s.